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2020.09.04 11:39 IdolA4Sepl New Priv-ate Amat-eur Po-rn Nw

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2020.09.02 19:45 Meda2Sepl Latest Bb-c Cros-sdress Po-rn Az

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2020.08.31 12:11 RestrainedEmu Major Spoilers for Hajimari side stories

Just sharing some I’ve seen in the past few days Translated title might be off, sorry in advance if I got it wrong.
1.St Astraia case files - This is where Kurt crossdresses lol. Him, Juan and Musse go undercover into St Astraia to investigate an incident regarding a number of students collapsing and uncover a dungeon underneath the school
2.A step towards the light - a day before Olivier and schera’s wedding. Bleublanc stole Schera’s wedding dress. Olivier and Schera go around hunting for it. At the end they reclaim the stolen property along with a letter from Bleublanc wishing them well on their wedding. He also attached a tiara as a gift. Apparently Luciola also left them a message, and as many suspected she was the fortune-teller in Mishelam as Olivier suggests.
  1. The two’s justice - Machias and Dudley enjoying their morning coffee until they found out supply chains in crossbell have been suspiciously disrupted due to various issues such as wrong deliveries and the appearance of knockoff goods. After some investigation, they trace the cause back to the merchant seeking fake goods caught by the SSS as well as an old lady apparently from Calvary as the ones responsible.
  2. The Fallen Prince - Cedric has been having trouble adjusting to his new life in Ouroboros due to his spoilt upbringing. In the first scene on the Glorious, he gets upset that the room is not clean enough to his liking and calls upon a maid, but then realizes his situation and decides to go get a breath of fresh air outside. He is being watched by Mariabell, Novartis and Campanella who comments that he is not yet worthy to be an enforcer but he has sufficient “darkness” in him. The scene changes to jaeger training with the red constellation with Cedric falling behind time and time again. Cedric laments that all the training and studies he did atThors did not prepare him for this experience as he loses badly to Shirley while Gilbert proclaims that he’ll take Cedric into his team if he fails to make the cut as an enforcer. Later on, Shirley arranges a combat scenario for Cedric with an archaism helping him with the goal being to reach Gilbert and Garett’s after getting past groups of red constellation jaegers and defeat them. While initially having a hard time against the jaegers due to his arrogance of being the royal prince, he finally learns to let go of his pride and identity. He gradually gains confidence in himself and defeats Gilbert in his helicopter mech while Shirley praises him afterwards. At the end we see him watching Olivert’s wedding from a distance with the symbol of enforcer no. 19 marked on his device(XIX).
  3. The Lucky Stone and the Unlucky Ship(Funniest one IMO) - the stories are running alongside each other. Jingo wanted to purchase The Capua’s airship from Josette only to be refused. She later gets a rare jewel, which she continuously trades for Rarer items. Meanwhile, the balding Duke Cayenne(Musse’s uncle in CS3) is under a lot of stress as he has been forced into the position of acting ruler of Lamarre province by the imperial government and Musse). He is also eager to purchase a new airship for his enjoyment. The scene shifts back to Jingo with Beryl trading her jewel for a serial killer plushie with a knife belonging to Beryl. Shirley visits Jingo’s store some time later and sees the plushie, trading it for a unique newly designed spherical mine created by Mariabell. Duke Cayenne meanwhile is under investigation by Machias for an exorbitant flow of funds ,only to discover that the purchase made by Duke Cayenne was for the items: books relating to how to communicate better with the younger generation, a ton of confectioneries, hair growth related products as well as the airship. Apparently Duke Cayenne didn’t embezzle money and used his own funds for the purchase instead. He later laments that the airship has been bringing him bad luck so far.
Jingo gets a visit from Xeno and Leonidas who are shopping for regular wares. Jingo shows them the mine she got from Shirley which piques Xeno’s interest and he trades it in for an extremely rare pure gold Mishy plushie statue he got from escorting a client in the past. Duke Cayenne then takes his newest airship on its maiden flight only to experience serious turbulence which forced them to make an emergency landing. Although the airship only sustained minimal damages, Duke Cayenne decided to discard it. Jingo then brings the statue to her mum who baits Tio to their store by spreading news of it online. Jingo tried to give the plushie to give Tio the Mishy statue free of charge, but Tio offers to exchange for something. Tio recalls that a certain noble(Duke Cayenne) dumped an airship with the foundation which was going to be stripped down by her foundation and offers to transfer its ownership to Jingo instead. In the end Jingo gets her desired airship.
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2020.08.22 22:15 HaulA23Augl Christmas Po-rn in H-d

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submitted by MansA20Augl to u/MansA20Augl [link] [comments]

2020.08.03 01:23 Conmebosta Have you seen your country's banned names list? What is your favorite?

This is Brazil's from 2016 and I don't know why some are in bold and/or crossed. My favorite is CLCKLCKCNJHHHHJ
  1. A MESMA
  6. ADULT
12. ANAL
  1. BICHA
  4. BIXA
  1. BOSTA
  1. BUCA
  1. BUNDA
  2. CARNE
103. CASA
  5. CONA
  3. CORPO
  8. CU
  1. CUZAO
179. DFSDF
  3. EFTAL
  4. EFTO
  12. ESCORT
  5. FENDA
  6. FERO
  7. FERTO
  8. FETAL
  13. FETISH
  14. FETIXE
  15. FETO
  2. FM
  3. FODA
  4. FODAO
  5. FUNDA
  3. GAY/GLS
  4. GAYS
  5. GLBT
  6. GLS
  2. GSEXY
  4. HOME
  7. HOMOM
  11. HOMRM
  13. HPMEM
  2. LANHO
  1. LGBT
  5. MERDA
  8. MESMA
  10. MIJADA
  12. MULHER
  1. N C
  2. NAO
  1. NC
  1. NUAS
  1. OBA
  3. ORAL
  8. ORGIA
  11. OTARIO
  1. PEIDO
  11. PENIS
  16. PICA
  11. PORNO
  14. PORNOS
  16. PORRA
  14. PUSSY
  15. PUTA
  17. PUTAS
  19. PUTZ
  5. RELAX
  3. SADO
  11. SAFADA
  13. SAFADO
  1. SAPA
  5. SCORT
  10. SEM MAE
  11. SEM PAI
  13. SENHOR
508. SETOR
  1. SEU
  2. SEX
  6. SEXO
  13. SEXTOY
  16. SEXUAL
  18. SEXX
  19. SEXXXY
  21. SEXXY
  23. SEXY
  25. SEXYS
  31. SIRICA
  1. SWING
  3. TAIO
  5. TALHO
  3. TESAO
  2. TESTE
  7. TEZAO
  10. TGATAS
  11. T-GIRLS
  12. TIXE
  1. TOCA
  2. TOYS
  23. TREVO
  25. TROCO
  26. TROUXA
  27. TROXA
  6. VIADO
  9. VIBRO
  10. VIBROS
  1. VIELA
  6. VULVA
  1. XANA
658. XIBIO
  2. XOTA
  4. XXX
submitted by Conmebosta to asklatinamerica [link] [comments]

2020.07.30 23:18 Adorath31 D100 Drow/Demonic Masquerade ball

I have a masquerade ball planned with a twist, it's heavily influenced by drow culture and demonic worship/influence. I took the idea from Masquerade de Lolth which is super bland and lacks actual drow culture and replaced it with pseudo Victorian masquerade stuff. I want to rectify that.

d100 List of weird things that could happen in a drow/demonic masquerade ball

  1. Scantily dressed drow servants to be used/abused on the whim of the guests [Adorath31]
  2. Torture chambers with slaves of varying races for whipping etc [Adorath31]
  3. Glabrezu mating den- for making Draegloths [Adorath31]
  4. Hanging chandeliers with mage lights, purples, blues etc, nothing too bright. [Adorath31]
  5. Pit fights where members of the audience can."interact" with the "performers" [Adorath31]
  6. A drow male crossdressing as a noblewoman. If caught, his death will be brutal. [Vote_for_Knife_Party]
  7. Five Drow with identical costumes. Make a big show as showing up as a group of four, with the fifth sneaking in; the 5th rotates in and out so the members of the group can get up to shenanigans without anyone noticing they've slipped away. []
  8. A giant elaborate clock, with a captive shoved partially through a hole in each of the hour numbers and a razor sharp blade on the hour hand. As the party goes on into the night and beyond, it slowly dismembers one captive at a time, spilling blood and guts into a ritual font. []
  9. A fountain of wine, next to a deep pit. At the bottom of the pit is a heretic, strapped down spread eagle style, and the guests are invited to throw their glasses into the pit as they finish drinking them. []
  10. A dead Drow. They walk, talk, dance, and otherwise do the bidding of the demon imbedded in their mask, who has an agenda at the party. []
  11. An assassin in a stolen party dress. She needs to find and eliminate her target before the party ends. []
  12. The last party of surface adventurers, dressed in finest evening clothes, dosed up on so much paralytic poison that they can't even blink, and stood up on pedestals like living art. Throwing things at them is discouraged but not forbidden. []
  13. a humanoid creature, slowly roasting on a spit next to some bread and vegetables. Meant to be served like doner kebab. [Sir_Succ1]
  14. A drow priestess being punished by the matron is forced to be publicly treated like a male [JoeyD473]
  15. Low level demons being forced to serve food [JoeyD473]
  16. A Duergar Ambassador who is annoyed he has to be at this event [JoeyD473]
  17. A polymorphed surface dweller looking for a way into the Matron's reliquary/vault/treasure room [JoeyD473]
  18. A low level Drow who was taken over by an Intellect Devourer looking for ways to get other Drows alone and isolated to be taken over by other Intellect Devourers [JoeyD473]
  19. A slave seems particularly eager to please the most morally upright/good PC. If he successfully gets alone with them, he reveals that he is a follower of Eilistraee out to free slaves, and they've planned a raid on the masquerade ball. [ScruffleKun]
  20. A cambion is being used as a footstool. He has many scars on his body. If freed, he will be genuinely grateful. [ScruffleKun]
  21. A feathery marilith with an avian appearance (in disguise) is discreetly hiding small objects. When triggered, they will all at once unlock every lock in the building, allowing access for several enemies of the current matron, and causing chaos via a slave uprising. [ScruffleKun]
  22. A glabrezu/balor is offering a Wish to the mortal who performs the most amusing trick. The Wish itself is genuine, but the competition will feed the Glabrezu, as the tricks the Drow will perform and the lengths they will go to sabotage their competition will cause much chaos and suffering. [ScruffleKun]
  23. An incubus, enjoying the atmosphere of debauchery and suffering. He will try and encourage the party to engage in increasingly depraved acts, offering threats, bribes, etc. [ScruffleKun]
  24. Yochlol in disguise spreading dissent about Lolth in the hope of them saying careless things against her. [Adorath31]
  25. Drugs on demand, tables with them laid out in bags/vials. ranging from innocuous to highly addictive substances. [Adorath31]
  26. Vigilant drow priestess looking to flay males not escorted by a female drow of a known house. [Adorath31]
  27. a devil chained to the floor, drow "fighting" it for practise as drow priestesses heal it. [Adorath31]
  28. mindflayer diplomats have been invited and given "free reign" to do with slaves as servants as they please [Adorath31 ]
  29. Bebilith den, where troublemaker demons are sent to be eaten [Adorath31 ]
submitted by Adorath31 to d100 [link] [comments]

2020.07.24 18:38 wolf24Jul Fu-rry New Years Po-rn

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submitted by wolf24Jul to u/wolf24Jul [link] [comments]

2020.07.20 18:12 savanna20Jul Real Home-made Gra-nny Por-n

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2020.07.19 22:22 ivyleesx I am a 26yo CD/TV escort. AMA

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2020.07.18 16:27 18Jlulslow Best Natural Red-head Por-n

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submitted by 18Jlulslow to Home_Made_Fun [link] [comments]

2020.07.16 17:05 dhvf4516Jul Best Site Wife Por-n

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submitted by dhvf4516Jul to Home_Made_Fun [link] [comments]

2020.05.24 11:43 prettyreckless21 How to retrain my brain to erect as a crossdresser escort?

So. I'm a male working as a crossdresser escort/ as a female.
I get a good a good amount of clients per week. And one of the most requested services or should I say demand is that I cum.
But that's a really hard task to do because growing up I only came fucking my bed sheets wrapping myself around it. I got so used to it that it became a serious problem during my whole sex life with women.
I would last for a really long time and although the girl enjoyed it very much I would feel left frustrated every time. I never ever came while having sex. Only when I'm having my happy times.
So this is a big problem while working as an escort also. I want to at least enjoy the sex a little bit. I want to be able to cum but no matter how much my clients blow me I never ever cum.
Any advice or suggestions without any judgements would be appreciated
submitted by prettyreckless21 to sex [link] [comments]

2020.05.10 15:15 officiallylame Don’t know how to move on, whether that be together or apart

** This post doesn’t depict everything I wanted it to but it is so long already and I don’t know how to communicate any better (apparently...)
He was my first everything straight out of high-school, my s.o. and I dated for almost 3 years before (with much guilt and care on my part, ironically) finally being granted an open relationship, and eventually a “break” which turned into breaking up but... being best friends and fooling around anyway. I always felt we were end game but had different views on monogamy and youth (I am 20 now, he’s a year older. was 17 when i started seeing him) and now I don’t know anything.
I never wanted to see him again when I first found out about the cheating. But soon after, and lately, we started talking again. Its been little over a month since i found out, only 4 days passed in which i didn’t see or talk to him before i became obsessive about his every move. I wanted to know what he was doing, if he was still seeing people, being generally nosey and insecure. I am so weak. At least it feels that way. Now we see each other often again and fool around and I let him be affectionate with me, I feel like I am just falling back into old habit again. I just spent a week holed up at his place. As much as I don’t want to, I love the guy and for the most part I enjoy being around him.
I had this gut feeling that something was off, and he was being really defensive when I tried asking about stuff. I had never done this before, I went through his phone. Looking... for i don’t know what. I almost wish i didn’t. There were countless emails dating back through our whole relationship, accounts with fake names, etc. Failed attempts at hooking up, lots of dating services, looking for gloryhole/bathhouse in our area, nudes, flirty banter. It hurts so much to look at.
There was once when I cried and told him it was stupid and over nothing, I was crying over nothing because he would never cheat on me —we established our views before we ever started dating, that no matter how bad the relationship it is better to break up than cheat. Feel like the entire relationship was a lie. How can you act like you love someone, meanwhile you are hiring escorts and meeting up with random crossdressers (etc.) from around the city?
Literally felt like i could never trust again. That hasn’t gone away but faded into the background. Every time I do anything, all this knowledge just nags at the back of my mind... reminded me that i am giving him a “pass” and setting the bar on what I will tolerate from him. Truthfully, I feel as though It’s too hard to change. Even though we are no longer dating (on a technicality, we are habitually affectionate and codependent) I still want to believe he will be in my future. It’s him! I don’t know the man that did all that stuff. I mean i do but it’s... Him?
Now he says he isn’t going to ever do this kind of stuff again, he gives me lots of stuff, he wants me to do things (come/sleep over) he wouldn’t have been comfortable with at any point before in our relationship. It’s like I levelled up and got everything I wanted before.... but why now :( it just makes it harder to leave. I feel stupid for wanting to stay, and in my gut I know if he’s done it once, paid for it, and so many times since then while Hiding it for 3 years, he can really do anything. I can’t trust him, so why do I stay? what am i doing? what do i do?
submitted by officiallylame to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]

2020.04.29 22:16 MasonIsFromMars I need some help. Am I trans? How do you know for sure?

So. This one's a long one, kind of. I'll put a TLDR at the bottom. This is stuff no one really knows, and if I have mentioned any of this stuff to anyone before it has been nothing more than a simple statement, a passing remark, or hard to interpret question.
I'm 18 years old, and I am a biological male. I can't really remember what the moment was for me that I decided I wanted to wear dresses, and have long hair, and be pretty and stuff. I was making OCs, as almost every 13 year old does, and my primary OC was a very, very, pretty male. I don't really know if it was a conscious decision, or if it was just what felt right.
When I was a very young child, I wanted to be Selene from the Underworld films, like this badass beautiful vampire lady running around in black leather. When I was first discovering my attraction to men, I would read those "X reader" fanfictions (once again, as almost every 13 year old does), and obviously many of them are geared toward women, so I had come up with a female name for myself, and an alternate appearance for myself. That didn't bother me, that image of me or being called She/Her, what did bother me is that I wasn't that image of me in real life.
Anyway, fast forward to after I've come out to my parents as gay, and I have a boyfriend. I struggle a little while, after I learn what being Transgender is. I think to myself; "Am I that? No I'm just a cute femboy uwu". Or something along those lines. I was like 14 or 15 or something so I can basically assume that was something I said.
Back and forth for the next few years. I never talk about it. A little bit with my boyfriend; "Will you accept me if I'm trans?" I would ask. "Of course!" He would reply. The closest I got to talking about my actual feelings on the matter would be to my sister a couple of years ago on Cinco De Mayo when I had been drinking quite heavily. I needed her to escort me to the bathroom, at which point I complained about being a male and having to deal with having a sausage and testosterone. She didn't really listen, she was also pretty drunk so it didn't matter.
Though that is partially false, having male genitals has never particularly bothered me. However, having male body hair that I have to continuously shave, a male facial bone structure, and broader shoulders, have always bothered me, and continue to bother me even as I sit here typing this.
Being referred to as He/Him doesn't really bother me either, though I think that's probably just because I have been referred to as He/Him my entire life, and I'm just conditioned to it. But yeah it doesn't upset me. Wearing male clothes is comfier, and easier, so I don't have a problem wearing them.
But I can't help but think; Am I trans? I don't know if any of these qualify as being trans or if I'm just a crossdresser who enjoys appearing feminine and wearing girl clothes and stuff. During the Quarantine I've basically been inside my own head a lot, thinking about how much happier I would probably be if I was born female, as far as my self esteem goes. But then I think; "Would I actually be happier? Or do I just have body image issues?" Sometimes when I crossdress I feel so happy, and pretty. Other times, I just see a guy in a dress.
If I am trans, I doubt I will come out, or get any surgery. I've already come out to my parents as gay, coming out to them as trans now I feel like I would just be robbing them of their son. Plus, would my life be harder? Would people stare if I walked down the street?
I still want to get some outside opinion, and know for me though. Even if I never come out to my family, I would still like myself and maybe a few friends to know for sure. I appreciate any feedback and stories from anyone who feels similarly, because I honestly don't even know who I'd ask about this. I'll answer any questions y'all have or anything. Thank you all so much in advance.
TLDR: Basically for my entire adult life, I've liked dressing up and feeling pretty, but I don't necessarily mind having male genitals and am worried about my life if I trans. Am I trans? How do you know?
submitted by MasonIsFromMars to lgbt [link] [comments]

2020.04.03 13:50 Zithero Someone Stole a Book from a Museum, Now He's Gone Missing

Part 1

It’s afternoon, around 15:00, and I’m pulling up to the scene.
Some bloke’s flat in a shitty part of town. One last drag from my cigarette and I drown the smoldering cherry in my now ice-cold coffee. I climb out of the car and drop it in a nearby bin.
Here I am in the middle of Hackney, not quite the wealthiest Borough of jolly ol’ London, and I’m checking out a missing person’s report.
His boss reported that he hadn’t called in or made any contact for a week. Apparently, on top of the disappearing act, he lifted a rare book from the museum where the pair worked.
And now here I am, Inspector Lawrence Wright, of New Scotland Yard.
Yes, my first name is “law” and the second is “right”, very original, I’ve heard the damn jokes.
I walk up to the constable who is manning the door to the flat, keeping folks from waltzing into the crime scene.
“Anything?” I inquire.
He shakes his head, “Nothin’ much out of place there sir, gonna need a regular Sherlock to crack this one.”
I scoff in annoyance and brush past him. Of all the characters I hear about as a detective, I hate Holmes the most.
You’d think me being a detective in the Yard I’d be a big fan, but no. They treat normal detective work as if it’s some bloody superpower. Like the powers of observation are lost to mere mortal men, and only someone with opium addiction and narcissism can handle detective work.
I slip on a pair of shoe covers before I walk into the kitchen, and pull my latex gloves on as I survey the scene.
I see a few investigators taking photographs here and there.
There’s a teakettle on the stove and a mug next to it. Tea Bag inside, not wet or used. Someone set-up for tea, but never got around to actually making a cup. As I look around more I spot writing on the wall, etched into the wallpaper, likely by hand. Fingernails? Might be.
“Mistress... is coming,” I frown, puzzled, as I read it out loud. There was a name after ‘Mistress’ but it was burned off the wall, there was obvious fire damage but it only seemed to be in this spot.
“Any clue what was written there before?” I ask.
One investigator shakes her head, “No Inspector, looks like, on top of burning it, they scratched the hell out of it too.”
“Possible to take any impressions of the wall? Might get a hint, just a letter or two would be something,” I explain as I move towards a writing desk that someone else was snapping photos of. “Find any rare books?” I ask.
“No sir, no rare books to be found,” the photographer says as he snaps a picture, the flash illuminating the carpet near the desk.
I notice a pair of bare footprints on the carpet, and something else. “Where’s the lady of the house?”
Another uniformed officer approaches, “Only the missing person lives here, sir. A Mr. Geoffery Rolfe.”
“Is he a crossdresser?” I ask, inspecting the carpet indentations.
“Sir?” The officer asks me, perplexed.
“I asked if he was a crossdresser,” I point to the carpet, “check the bedroom for high heels. If there’s none here, then we have ourselves a potential accomplice, or suspect, depending.”
In front of the bare feet was a small set of footprints that seemed to dig heavily into the carpet, more so than anything else. A triangle shape made up the bulk of the indentation, with a point no more than a few inches behind it.
High heels. Killer ones at that, from what I could tell. Not office flats, the spacing between the ball of the foot and the point of the heel was tight, meaning some kind of stiletto heel or fetish-wear.
That meant if there was a suspect she was either a high-brow art dealer or a lady of the night. I highly doubted this kid was trying to fleece the item out of his house, then again according to the report he had no priors. Could just be an idiot. Now I’m suspecting foul play in another department.
“No high heels in the bedroom, sir,” the officer announces to me.
I nod. “Working theory,” I reason. “Kid sells the book, has more money than he knows what to do with, then decides the best way to spend ill-gotten-money is on illegal services. Thus, he orders himself some company for the evening. He brings her home, big mistake, maybe she robs him, perhaps her pimp shows up… either way… our bloke is missing.’
“Sir, what makes you think it was a prostitute?” an officer asks me.
I motion to the writing on the wall, “Last I checked, no one calls their missus ‘Mistress’, that’s an escort or prostitute, and not much in-between.”
Someone remarks, “By Jove, you might be onto something there, Holmes.”
I grumble to myself, “Let’s get an etching of the wall, yes? Even if we can pull a single letter out of it, it’s a good bloody start.”

It’s not much later in the evening that I’m looking over a trace of the etching. I’ve gotten a few letters, more than one, and that’s better than I could have hoped for. Fill in the blanks didn’t leave too many names.
“E….…ld...”, I look the letters over. Working over the handwriting from the previous word, and the latter, I figure there had to be no more than nine letters in the name. Nine-letter name that starts with ‘E’, with an ‘ld’ near the tail-end.
A quick Google search for “nine letter names that start with E” leads me to a quick little reference page.
277 entries… a quick ctrl-F to see if I can find any which also have an ‘ld’ and I got seven hits. All of them were a variance on a single name: “Esmerelda.”
It didn’t matter how it was spelled, all that mattered was I had a name. Now it's time for the far less technical part of the job.
I jump up and grab my coat, “Bob,” I shout to the dispatcher on duty, “I’m gonna be trollin’ Soho!”

A quick rental car paid for by the Yard, some street clothes and I’m rolling down Rupert Street looking for a particular slag. Izzie, short for Isabell, was her name, and she was a long time provider of the world’s oldest profession. If anyone knew of something going down with the other girls, it was her. Always ripe for a bit of gossip.
Sure enough, she’s right there on her regular corner. I pull up to her, and she’s in a pair of felt boots, torn fishnet stockings, a gaudy pink feather jacket, and a crop top. She has some kind of thong bikini bottoms on. Looks okay enough from the back.
Make-up is pretty light tonight, but the gnarly teeth and wrinkled face are the sort of thing that only looks decent in dull lighting and a good set of beer goggles.
“Oy, wat yah’ lookin’ at?” she grins, the smile vanishing when she sees me, “dah fook you tryin’ tah do, get me glassed?”
“Hop in Izzie, I’ll make it worth yer time,” I explain, waving a bullseye at her. For you Americans, that’s a fifty-pound note.
Izzie shrugs and gets in. “I ain’t dumb enough tah go down onna coppa.”
“Just for a Bronze, eh?” I remark as I pull away.
“Least you're not in some marked car… last ting aye need is the girls tinkin’ I got nicked by a rozzer,” she smirks.
I pull over, offering her the bill, “I need to know if you’ve heard anything about a woman named Esmerelda and if she’s made off with a john.”
She takes the fifty and checks it in the light, “Esmerelda?” she stuffed the bill into her cleavage, “neva ‘erd of her. Can aye go now?”
“You’ve heard nothing about missing johns?” I press her for information.
Izzie hems and haws a moment, then finally leans over, her breath smelling of cheap gin, “I don’t know no Esmerelda, or wha-ever, but aye do know about some missin’ johns.”
“Well,” she grins sarcastically, “a few months ago, outta the blue, comes this American girl!” she scoffs, “perky tits, blonde hair, blue eyes, straight teeth, real bloody valley girl lookin’ slag!” she spits out the window.
“All right, an American Whore in London, what of it?” I press further.
“Well, this girl, she only shows up once every 2 weeks, on the bloody dot, and she’ll take a bloke… and then both are gone. The bloke for about two months, before he’s back. Sometimes he’s asking for her by name, sometimes he’s not… always the boys are lookin’ haggard and not so well.”
“This girl got a name?” I ask.
Izzie chuckles, “wouldn’t believe me iffin’ I told yah… but the American, she’d named Britney,” she gives a full-on laugh now.
“Her last name Spears?” I narrow my eyes, thinking that Izzie’s been taking me for a ride this whole time.
“No, I swears!” Izzie shakes her head, “Cross me ‘eart an’ ‘ope tah die!”
“There’s an American girl, named Britney, nickin’ your johns, and you want me to bring her in because the blokes are looking tired after a shag with her?” I frown. “Sounds like you want me to scare off some new blood.”
“No, she don’t bother me none!” Izzie professes, “I swear! The pimps tried to pick ‘er up, as she don’t got one, but they laid off too. She’s only ‘ere once a fortnight and then she’s gone. Don’t bother none of us, only time it does is iffin’ she makes off wif a regular… then we know he’s out of the sack for a good month or two.” Izzie rolls her eyes, “Lord knows what she does to the boys to get ‘em so tired.”
“When was the last time yah seen this American whore?” I ask, out of sheer curiosity.
“A little more than a week ago, I’d say,” Izzie informs me.
“Fine,” I heave a sigh, “you can get out, Izzie.”
“Can’t drop a girl off at ‘ome?” she narrows her eyes at me.
“Out, or else the only place I’m driving you is lock-up,” I say as I lean over and push her door open for her.
She huffs and gets out, heading back to her little spot on the street.
I shut the door and sigh. I guess I know what I’m doing for the next couple of nights.
It was the third night, to be specific when I finally found someone fitting Izzie’s description.
Yet another rental car and I’m sitting across the street waiting, puffing a cigarette. That’s when I spot her from across the street. She steps into the glow of the street light, and I swear it’s like she’s right out of a Hollywood movie. I drink in the sight.
Perfect glossy blonde hair falling down to her tiny waist, which is bare, save for a tiny piercing glinting in her navel. Lovely set of breasts and a full set of lips. She isn’t wearing much make-up except for some light lip gloss and conservative eyeshadow, but she’s so gorgeous she doesn’t need any at all. A tight white cotton shirt under a denim jacket, which screams ‘American’, along with a short black skirt and sparkling heels completes the package. Her legs are bare, flawless, and bare.
I shake myself out of my stupor and drive my car around, rolling the passenger-side window down.
Without missing a beat, she leans down, her cleavage on full display, “Hey there buddy,” she purrs. Her American accent is so stereotypical I’m questioning if it’s an act. It doesn’t sound modern. Like the sort of accent, I’d expect to hear a Pink Lady speak from the movie Grease.
“Hey,” is all I can sputter. Her blue eyes twinkle at me and she smiles, is she chewing gum?
“What are yah lookin’ for there, stud?” She gives me a knowing wink.
Who says ‘stud’ these days? Was this an act?
“What’s a bullseye get me?” I ask, waving the fifty at her.
She smiles, “It gets you opening the car door, letting me in, and me taking way more than fifty.”
Before I know it I’m unlocking the door and she’s sitting her pretty bum into my seat. This wasn’t like me, and I get the sudden sinking feeling that I’m no longer in control of my own actions. My stomach drops as the beautiful siren buckles her seatbelt reaches over and squeezes my thigh.
She points, with flawless manicured and pointed fingernails, “Your place or a hotel, don’t care which, I just don’t do cars.”
I start driving, but something was not right! I’m driving to a hotel- but I would never do that! I’m supposed to be questioning her! With a hard swallow, I pull over. It took far more resolve to disobey her than I thought I had, but I manage all the same.
She seems unnerved, “Hey, I said hotel.”
I blink hard, my head feeling fuzzy for some reason, “I… I’m supposed to ask you something.”
“And I’m supposed to lay you in the hotel room, not your car,” she frowns, “there’s no room in
the damn car.”
I whip my gun out and point it at her, looking at her reflection in the window, “You… I don’t know what you’re doing, but stop it now or…”
She grins, leaning towards the gun, “You like risky play?” she makes direct eye contact and kisses the barrel, to my utter shock, “I can be risky…”
No one isn’t afraid of a gun, no one who’s in their right mind isn’t afraid of getting shot. Especially a hooker getting picked up by someone she’s never met. My mind races as I try to think of something, and I reach for the most insane yet logical thing.
She was controlling me, that was clear, was it hypnosis? If it was, I had to alter my mental state. That required drastic action.
I swivel the gun away from her and press it to my own temple, pulling the hammer back.
Now she shrieks, “What the heck man?”
My heart’s hammering in my chest as my hand shakes. I know the safety’s off, and my adrenaline is pumping hard, “Are you, Britney?” I demand, beads of sweat pouring down my forehead.
“Yes! Dangit put that darn thing away, I’m not here to watch someone kill himself! What the heck is wrong with you?” She backs away looking totally freaked out, but I had locked the car doors. “Let me out!”
“No,” I heave, keeping the gun in my hand, but lowering it slowly, “I have some questions, then you can go.”
“Ask!” She looks scared now, or at the very least confused. Why wasn’t she scared when the gun was trained on her?
“I’m looking for a missing person,” I begin.
She frowns, “Listen, I know better,” she explains, “I don’t kill no one!” she insists.
“Double negative,” I point out.
“I do not kill people,” now she’s having a hard time finding her words, “I just… I…”
“You what?” I growl, putting the gun to my temple again.
“I suck their life-force, okay?” Then she sharply commands, “Stop doing that!”
Somehow, I think my racing heartbeat hammering in my ears was enough to keep her from ordering me around. I’m still not sure what she was using to do it, so that was keeping me even more on edge.
“What the hell are you babbling on about, ‘suck their life force’?”
“I’m a succubus!” She blurts out, “Okay!? Jeez!”
“I don’t…” before I could finish, my mind raced back to all the details in the case that were actually consistent with this. She hypnotized me the moment she sat down in the car. Her eyes were twinkling, doing something inhuman. Was that possible? Was any of this possible? I frown, looking her over, “A succubus...named Britney?”
She nods in exasperation, “Yes, okay? I got summoned by some college kid who needed help with a relationship,” she giggles, “and I’m free! But I’m stuck with him… and a girl’s gotta eat! So I do this, whenever I need something to get me through the weeks, okay?” She then produces the most seductive pout I’ve ever seen in my life.
“Prove it,” I frown at her, “prove your story to me and maybe…” I move the gun to my head, “I keep you clean.”
Her eyes briefly widen, and then twinkle again, “Drop it.”
I close my eyes tight and let out a yell as my finger moves to the trigger again.
“Stop! Stop! Okay!” Britney pleads, “Just… please stop!” I open my eyes, my hand trembling as I move my finger off the trigger.
Then, I shit you not, this fit babe morphs into some kind of fucking fairy-tale demon monster.
Britney’s eyes shimmered as a pair of black horns slowly sprouted from the sides of her head. She tapped them and lowered her head towards me. “Give it a tug, it’s attached.”
Instead of instantly bolting like a sane person, I grabbed the horn tightly and gave a pull. This elicited a soft moan from the blonde sex-demon.
“Satisfied…?” She was looking out the passenger window, clearly annoyed.
I put the gun back into my shoulder holster, flicking the safety on. “Satisfied enough…” I narrow my eyes. You see a lot of weird and unusual things as a detective, but this was on a whole new level of crazy.
“Mistress…” I trail off, thinking of the writing on the wall in my missing person’s flat.
“Huh?” Britney frowns, rapping her pointy fingernails on the dashboard, “You want to start roleplaying now, you weirdo?”
I shake my head, “I’m looking for a missing person, as I said. You were the first lead I came across, but now… maybe you’d have the information I need after all.”
“What are you talking about?”
“There was writing in the flat, from my case. The writing mentioned a name, I’m wondering if she’s maybe a...succubus, like you?”
As insane as it was, I couldn’t ignore the reality in front of me. Maybe this was all a dream and I’d be waking up soon, but I glanced at the street signs and noted I was able to read them clearly. So, obviously, not dreaming.
“You aren’t… freaked out over this?” Britney asks curiously.
“I’m terrified, but it also explains my missing person. Maybe a succubus who’s less scrupulous, one who kills?” I ask.
Britney stares at me in confusion, “Listen, pal… as far as I know, we aren’t that common up here.”
“So if I asked if you knew a ‘Mistress Esmerelda,’ she wouldn’t likely be here?”
The demoness’s eyes widen with fear and the color drains from her face, “How do you know that name?”
“It was written inside the apartment of my missing person,” I explained.
Britney goes ballistic and slams herself against the door, frantically clawing at it to open, “No! Let me out! If she’s here I’m not safe!”
“Calm down!” I shout, excited to have a lead, but disturbed as to what gets a demon frightened, “Why?”
Britney turns to me and starts to cry in despair. She grabs onto my arm with an unusually strong grip. “You don’t understand!” Her voice is filled with dread, “Esmerelda isn’t a normal succubus! She never was! She was our Queen before, but… but…” she shudders, wrapping her arms around herself in anxiety, rocking back and forth.
“But what?” I demand.
“But now…” Her beautiful face took on an intense fear I couldn’t fully comprehend, “she’s become something truly terrible.”
submitted by Zithero to nosleep [link] [comments]

2020.03.13 16:05 my_throw_awayyy What the F*** am i doing Part 2

I'm still lonely and i still feel like i'm struggling mentally. I'm a 21 yo college student, i go to church twice a week and i have a fast food job. This may sound really weird but i just want a girlfriend soo bad. I have tried Tinder, Ok Cupid, Bumble and i have gotten no success . I just want to spend quality time with a girl, i want to go out shopping with my girlfriend and give my opinion about every outfit she tries on. I want to have a dinner and date night with a girl or a Netflix and chill night. But i guess i will get a girl eventually, it just take time.
I have been to the strip club twice because i was looking for the level of intimacy and love that a girlfriend would give. I didn't receive the enjoyment i expected. It's not the strippers fault or the strip club's fault, it just so happen that you can't get that level of intimacy at a strip club and it was a learning experience for me.
Now after that experience, i have been thinking about going to an escort. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't work based on my experience with the strip club . If i do chose the escort option, i would prefer to have a big booty latina girl lol . (I do realize that escorts are kinda risky and not cheap btw).
Now this is the "WTF" part of my life. So i have this crossdressing fetish and i had this for a few years now. Last week, i order a pair of women wedges (Here are the wedges ) and soon im gona order a dress or a skirt and dress up as a girl going to the club or a girl that gets a lot of looks in public. Why am i doing this ? Idk tbh, maybe it will make me feel better. I will probably please me sexually and maybe that will make me feel better.
submitted by my_throw_awayyy to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

2020.03.09 06:48 DamienHarkat "How does the party react?"

Prologue: Ohhhh f*@# here we go...
Im getting warnings out of the way: Underaged Trap. If this already puts you off, its not gonna get better.
Hi. I haven't used this site before, but something happened over the course of months (yes, about 3 months) and ended just a couple weeks ago. Its been stewing in my mind awhile, and I just need to put this somewhere so that it can be off my chest now that its over, the main DM joined the Navy, and the group as a whole has taken a DnD hiatus. I apologize if this goes on for awhile, is highly sloppy, and is more of a rant. but I'll do my best to keep things in order while not going mad like a 40k cultist.
Our group has waxed and waned for a couple years and its largely over a private DnD amino, but the main people with names changed for obvs reasons are:
ForeverDM: James
ForeverNovice: Me. Damien
Adult of the group: Bolted.
And the problem player. Tick
Other names may come and go, but the main issues were among us four.
It should be noted that James and I tended to put focus on rp-heavy custom campaigns set in rather bleak settings as we'll get too, but its important to note that when we Dm'd or played as players in these games , we took actions seriously, and everyone was on board with this plan....we thought.
I couldn't tell you what started bringing up red flags at first, as Tick had been around for a few months with no issue. Around that time though, our games were often fairly bog-standard as we were putting most of our energy into building the custom campaigns and were doing a lot of by the book filler, so the tone was fairly lighthearted and full of memes. Typical bard and rogue shenanigans and a couple crit fail TPKs.
But something me and James began noticing was that Tick was very fond of bringing up his sexuality at completely random times. Imagine Quagmire from Family Guy but instead of sex jokes towards women, its sex jokes towards....himself. Along with his intense desire to be...a trap. Yea that kind of trap. While we were all far from against LGBT people, it got awkward at times, especially since at this point Tick was underaged and most of us were at least early 20's. We tried to politely ask him to stop, but he either thought it was a joke, or this was genuinely his personality. Not sure which i would have preferred.
This wouldn't have been the worst thing ever if it didn't get much worse as time went on. See, Tick wasn't the most emotionally stable person. After awhile, he would blatantly ignore instruction or rules, shut down and ignore us when we criticized him or he didn't get his way, and then tried hiding behind mental issues, abuse, us being mean, and other similar things when it got too heated. This would lead James, me, and a few others to outright yell at him in desperation, only for him to post memes to "diffuse the stress" while once again not listening to a word we said.
Why did we put up with this you ask? Well cause it didn't really reach critical mass until the last month or so, and there were a few months of normality that built up to this, so it's like the 'frog in a pot of water' thing.
Skipping a lot of minor incidents, we hit the first major contention. Again, sorry this is gonna be a bit of a long story-rant.
Chapter 1: TrapJaws
Its custom campaign time. Mine actually. And Tick wants to be a 100lb twink that's barely 18 (I demanded he be of age, given his personality and behavior in other games.) This character is supposed to be weak, easy to intimidate, and rather fragile. Unsure of his strength. These were his own descriptions. Remember this even though he never really played a character. He'd always just play himself and treat it more like a modded Skyrim game than...well DnD.
He wants to be a race known as Shifter. Basically humans with animal features that can "shift" once per rest for awhile to gain a feature tied to the type of shifter they are. Tick wanted to be a fish based shifter. Looking over the race, I had decided to give him a couple of sensible buffs to aid him, as I am a Dragonborn at heart, with his own nerfing insecurities.
While his form only gives him a standard bite attack and doubled his swim speed, I fiated that he could hold his breath for 15 minutes, and gave him an asthetic "bobble", like an angler fish to act as a light, but not darkvision cause im sick of my whole party having darkvision. He'd get these traits when he changed form.
And...He wants to be a Barbarian.
The way he rationalized this is... sigh ok bear with me.
So he wants 3 forms.
Human twink with no muscle mass (but maxed strength stats)
Half-fish twink (the shifter racial trait)
And Barbarian Rage Bear that makes him into basically a buffer Ripjaws from Ben10. That's actually the picture used as reference now that I remember.
Note that regular fish-shifters just look like the fish-eyed slimy humans from Call of Chthulu and can get parranah teeth once a rest.
Now I'm fine with a bit of homebrew as long as its easy to keep a handle on, and at the time, I was willing to go along with this. I asked him his backstory and...hooboy.
His story is that he came from a family of fishermen that travel deep into the ocean to fish. And that his father performed "some ritual" (left to my devices) that killed his mother (he was heavily hinting he wanted her to actually be a demon and still alive. Yes a demon. A Marrow to be exact.) And made Tick be born a Shifter. Tick now spends his time deep-sea fishing in the ocean and due to profound family luck has not been accosted by The Mist (ill explain) or the depths of the ocean....
Also keep in mind the only part of this backstory told to me at first was the first sentence of that. And the rest will come up later. At this point i had been under the impression his family was driven away from their passion due to the events of The Mist. I wasn't told any of the stuff beyond his fishing lineage.
Even all together, it shouldn't be TOO bad, right?
That's not....terrible. Shifters are meant to be natural occurrence, but if he wants his dad to @#*% a spiny murderous fish monster, I can wing it. Its not like he was making a Child of Prophecy...right? We can come up with some shanty town he had to abandon to take up adventure, etc etc. But things pile up as I'll explain.
Too cut a load of story short to get to the CLUSTER of this, my campaign takes place on a continent where the surrounding ocean has been shrouded by a combination Steven King's and Silent Hill's The Mist, 6 different lovecraft books, and all kinds of magic, warpy corruptey shenanigans that affect things that stay too close to the shores or in the water. The party was well informed of the world and its lore before we even had a session date planned, but he made a character that regularly deep-sea dives out in the Mist and only hasn't been killed because of "Luck" (heavy winks and nudges aimed at me as I put a crossbow under my chin).
At first i didn't notice his plans because I already planned to have towns and npcs treat him warily at best as he's got all the trademark signs of being corrupted. It would have been the same general start regardless. But we'll get to that.
Naturally, I started the party with James (A rogue that was traumatized by The Mist in their backstory) having to escort a caravan near the shores, gathering the party over the course of session 0. Simple right?
(Tf2 Heavy voice: Maybe...sniff Maybe...)
Actually yea, thank the gods. The party is more or less gathered rather swiftly in a cliff-based town of ex Navy veterans that defend the coast from raids by corrupted lizardfolk in the nearby swamp. Tick and the rest of the party by chance are in the same town.
James meets over the course of this session:
Matt: A human warrior that was a disowned prince-turned-gladiator that came with the caravan James was escorting.
Moon: A bard Changeling earning a living as a traveling singer.
Temple: A Warforged monk that wished to aid the town, who treat him with respect as fellow ex-military.
Bolted: A gunslinger Tabaxi seeking to secretly scout the continent for his homeland to come conquer
And Tick: The Barbarian Fish who's also helping defend, but is forced to live in a shed.
Guess which one James has an issue with?
The fish man that comes in and introduces themselves in half-fish form for the purpose of eating raw fish and picking his teeth with the skeleton...
To the ptsd rogue that hates The Mist.
Then asks out of character how James reacts before he can actually roleplay a response. James plays his character and acts distrustful, even a lil hostile to the oblivious Tick, but eventually gets distracted enough by Temple and Moon to finish gathering supplies and head out, Tick more or less forcing himself onto the party, and especially James, inorganically despite characters in game clearly not trusting him as he asks how each of us react to each of his forms in the least organic way imaginable. This isn't the worst thing, as stories of judging books by their cover and being proven wrong can be done well, and that was the general idea the party was going for.
Ooc its not much better through, as Tick is complaining that James is being mean to him personally, asking how every npc in town reacts to his fish-ness, despite living here for weeks and being given a run-down shed as shelter, and asked intensely personal questions, in (or out of, in his case) character even though we've covered that this was meant to be heavy rp and all James knows as a rogue and the rest of the party for that matter is that some obnoxious fish monster has begun following them and won't stop trying to harass them.
We calm him down and reach the base of the cliffs to discover Bolted on the shore. He came via steampunk airship with a crew to explore the new territory, but a creature in The Mist swatted the craft from the sky and now he's spent the last night holed up in a small cave, surrounded by the bodies of a dozen lizardfolk raiders he's already killed off-screen, and using shrapnel chunks that came from the craft as a makeshift barricade, not knowing the fate of his crew or how far the craft sailed inland before crashing.
Before anyone can react to this situation, Tick decides to deliberately ignore all this and go fishing. Stating "seen one dead body, seen them all" in regards to... Well the whole view that has at least 5 things off the bat that none of them would have seen before now. Especially a struggling fisherman in the sticks. So much for character.
Deciding to just not deal with it, I try to turn lemons into lemonade and describe how several of the fish and crabs he's caught appear to be grey, catatonic, and barely seem to even notice being caught. I intended to have this be a bit of world building to try and remind Tick of the effects of The Mist and why it would be a good idea t-
He eats exclusively the grey seafood, actually taking 6 damage from biting into a raw crab with it's shell still on. And then asks how the party reacts to it, ooc.
Not wanting to deal with this again, I make a spontaneous encounter with some straggling raiders to potentially give dying-breath exposition and get the party rolling again. Tick uses Barbarian Rage and describes getting big and buff in a way akin to Fist of The North Star, then asks me "how do they react?" Then asks. "How does the party react?"
Obviously by fighting each other. They get their exposition, and Tick immediately goes to get more fish without paying much mind to the plot. I should note that Tick never rolled below an 18 with or without modifiers, combat, social, or otherwise the entire time we knew him.
Getting annoyed with this now, I explain that the fighting scared the fish away and he's stuck with what he's got. He retorts by saying he'll go deep underwater to get more...
This is when he reveals the REST of the backstory that he'd "told me already" when the rest of the party got annoyed. I was annoyed too, but damned if I wasn't determined to get them going at least partially in the right direction before Session 0 ended. So I just rolled up my sleeves. Said we'd discuss it later, brought down Monty Python's hand of God, and swatted them along the right path.
This worked for about 5 minutes before Tick was once again eating fish I've described as "tasteless and mood-draining, with eyes of milky fog" and wedging himself into other people's dialogue with "How do they react to X?" Or "What would your character do if I X?" Or trying to talk like it's a dialogue tree. "What are you? What's a Warforged? Do you reproduce? Can you be made into sex-bots? What's a Tabaxi? Whats a Changeling? Whats their history? Whats your history?" Nonstop badgering with very little attempt to actually roleplay organically until the actual roleplay just dried up and Tick was finally attacked by James. It wasn't full on PvP. Just the Rogue warning the loud, clearly corrupted fish man to stop asking him about why The Mist bothers him, again while eating exclusively the lifeless seafood and not the healthy ones, which everyone also said in character was a bad idea. He also gets upset and declares that noone will talk to him, even though he's actually blatantly ignored both Matt and Moon this whole time.
Things spiraled from there, ooc, and I had to call the session because we had to spend the next hour arguing what we meant by "rp heavy" and "actions in game will have effects" and "Common #@&*ing sense", then going back over several reasons his backstory couldn't work. And my annoyance that he'd tried to slip in his 'child of prophecy' nonsense into my plot AFTER THE FACT, yes it was indeed, and finally that he needs to be a bit more conscious of the situations he's in to avoid mishaps. Based on how much more we have to go, you can guess how well he took the advice.
Chapter 1.5: TrapJaw's return.
Things cool for awhile but eventually James returns as DM and has us in his own campaign. The important notes are:
Im now HC-4D4, Warforged Barbarian
Bolted is a Frog Ranger (don't recall the race)
And Tick is still the same race, class, and character. Obviously the backstory wasn't changed but he didn't bother using it. James was also very clear that he was not putting up with the 3 forms or the fiat abilities I gave him. Another thing Tick just tossed out the window, then tries to say that me giving him abilities in one game should somehow translate to a different game with a different DM.
Lvl 5 all of us.
To cut a long story short, the BGGG (Big Good Good Guy) personally introduces Tick as an envoy to us, as we were going to an area in the ocean and needed assistance. The BGGG is PERSONALLY hand picking this man to be our trusted ally in the field. And he intros by using his Rage to beef up and flex, then immediately asks, again before anyone can say anything irp "How does the party react to me getting all beefed out?"
The BGGG chides him for his carelessness and Tick once again starts taking it personally, but decides to go to HC. He asks HC if he wants to go lift weights. I agreed as HC was designed to be 'Heavy Cavalry' and his Rage was just his core overclocking to perform more extreme feats. I will at least say I enjoyed my one good line for my character.
Tick: "Hey, robot. Do you lift?" HC: "I am HC-4D4. I am BUILT to lift."
James decides to make it more interesting and has the BGGG request a spar between Tick and I. Bolted wants to do it instead, partially as revenge for the treatment in my campaign, and I agree. Spar starts and the Ranger lands 4 damage with a punch. Tick immediately curls up on the ground and doesn't want to fight anymore. Keep in mind he was introduced as our assistant for a dangerous area, and his intro was to both flex to his max, and challenge the robot to weight lifting.
HC asks if he's actually able to hold himself in combat, and Tick suddenly explodes ooc, accuses me, then the party, of bullying him. He says he didn't want to fight, despite being a lvl5 barbarian vs a lvl 5 Ranger in melee sparring. He says how his "last DM was easy going and people were more lighthearted" and that "y'all are too serious all the time." We also find out that he has 20's on all his stats, call him out for rolling nothing lower than an 18, and even try to make things better to suit his character.
James even suggested that Tick halve his strength when in Twink form so it thematically makes sense. And that buffing out brought out his full potential. That way his character that is meant to be timid and unsure of his strength unless roiding out isn't on par with a literal war machine in terms of raw strength when he's a stickman. He declined, stating that "it wasn't hurting anyone. Your just targeting me. It shouldn't matter." This once again gets out of hand after awhile to the point the session ends and everyone leaves with mild annoyance.
Eventually we demand he scrap the character and make a new one. Before I know it, he's asking if I can allow him to use homebrew of The Blue Mage from i think Final fantasy. Not sure. I try and tell him I'm not trying to do homebrew classes, and all I get it a link to the Red Mage instead along with pleads to let him "have this one thing."
James, Bolted, and I now tell him he has to pick canon 5e classes and go from there. He retorts by saying he's already played all the classes before and he's bored with them. But we go back and forth until we manage to convince him to be a Monk... Only to learn he has no idea how Monks work. Not only that, but James goes over Flurry of Blows mechanics, no joke, 5 times in a row. And even then he got it wrong, prompting James to shout "WE JUST DID THE MATH!!" Which became a new in-group joke among us after. But we soon found out he basically had no idea how anything that wasn't Barbarian, Fighter, or Rogue worked. And this man's trying to come at me on some Red\Blue Mage homebrew. I felt like I was smoking pickled gravel. How was this even real.
Chapter 2: Dark Heresy
That is the last 5e game we actually do with Tick. As motivation to continue was dropping like the population of Pompeii, James and I found something we and the party could all enjoy.
Dark Heresy and Black Crusade. If you aren't aware, these are two games based on the universe of Warhammer 40k. Clearly a perfect place for the lighthearted Tick. Who we explain...three times...what he's getting into.
We start with Dark Heresy. Where we took a bit of inspiration from The All Guardsman Party and made...well Guardsman. The difference being we made a couple specially designed people. I made a regular Guardsman named Church, and a Death Korps of Krieg soldier. Bolted made a hive ganger that got drafted to avoid a shiv in prison.
Despite my assumption that The Grim Darkness of the far future would be enough to push him away. Instead? His first character is a Catatchan Jungle Fighter. For the uninitiated: Think a world full of the most dangerous plants, bugs, fungus, and animals ever imagined, populated by Rambo clones that hate shirts and love big bowie knives and flamethrowers and you'll get an idea.
So naturally he's a damn barely-legal tween, maxes out all his stats, tries to wear as much armor as he can while usung the unarmored dodge boost his build relies on, uses a sniper and invisibility cloak while also using shotguns and melee just as readily and from about the same range. And his backstory is that he's the runt of his family, thus prefers using sniping and subterfuge over his brothers more gung-ho attitude. Catatchan lore aside, This is despite him having more armor, toughness, health, strength, melee, and gun skills than my Krieg Guardsman, who I actually designed to be a front line bayonet enthusiast and the parties volunteer bullet biter.
I should also note than unlike 5e, rather than rolling a D20 and going high. You roll a D100 and go for as low as possible. So naturally his dice rolls shift from 18-22 with D20, down to 1-11 with D100. Every. Single. Time. Critical hits in this game are also different. With max damage die yielding crits rather than accuracy unless its... You guessed it 1-10 where the headshot range is. If you get your first crit, you reroll accuracy, and if it lands, roll a second dice. If that maxes out also, you keep rolling until you stop maxing out and add allllll those maxed out die and the last die to the damage. Rather op but its actually pretty hard . So of course his damage die always seemed to max out at least twice each shot. Three times if the threat looked especially scary.
Basically instead of an intense, gritty fight for survival, the man ran along like a sniper in Call of Duty and 360 noscoped anything in our path. He also continued asking questions a Guardsman in character shouldn't even think about like details on Chaos and Inquisitors, stopping every 2 seconds to ask "How does Church\Kriegsman react to this?" And "What would you do if I x?" All the while practically aimbotting. The only reason he didn't die was because usually everyone died before it got to their turn, and the party was too close to let a stray bomb hit him. He wouldn't roleplay beyond thinly veiled attempts to keep asking questions, and generally it was so lackluster we ended up putting Dark Heresy on the shelf and moving on to Black Crusade.
Chapter 2.5: Black Crusade
It should be noted that this is around the middle of the last couple months we kept Tick around, and his behavior had gotten....frankly creepy. He was clearly crushing hard on James, and when James was pissed at him for how he acted both in game and ooc, he'd take it super personally, comparing James to a celebrity or a popular kid in school that he was intimidated by. Again, he was an underaged twink that regularly made jokes about being a trap and\or being promiscuous with men, animals, and miscellaneous cylindrical objects. He was also officially blocking out any and all advice or criticism we offered, and regularly talked bad about us in different Aminos or to other friends. He was wearing out his welcome rather fast, and it was honestly just a mild mix of social discomfort and pity at his seemingly empty life beyond this party that kept him in beyond this.
So for some ungodly reason, we let him come back for Black Crusade.
For the uninitated, Black Crusade is also 40k. But you play as the chaos worshipers. All those blood soaked, lusting, rotting, lovecraftian hordes of Men, Marines, and Monsters that seek to reap the death and suffering of all. This can't POSSIBLY be made into a hapless, sexually repressed kid AGAIN right?
I make a Khornate Berserker
Bolted becomes a Tzeench psycher sorcerer.
And Tick becomes a Death Priest of Mire. Basically a mix of The Witch and The Hunter from L4D that can utilize radiation, acid, and disease buffs on their weapons. Preferably melee. The issue is Tick also recieved a mutation that makes him look like a normal person and not...basically a zombie. And he still maxed his stats to the point that his melee is on par with a Kornate Berzerker. To put it gently, Tony Hawk just walked up to Prime Time Iron Mike Tyson and said "...yea, me too."
We each get told on our separate worlds to meet an Oracle that will send us on our plot. While there, each of us have a side-quest to optionally perform while at the Oracles place. I must destroy a book. Bolted needs the same book. But Tick needed to get samples from a certain exhibit.
Having not met any of us yet irp, Tick decides to cling to my Berserker and follow him everywhere as he's looking for the book. He reads a medical book at some point but other than that, contributes nothing, and just asks question after question. "How are space marines made? How old are you? How does your oc react to me doing this gross thing?" He really tried hard to make us grossed out in character, but we're....well Chaos worshippers. Any 40k person can tell you why you aren't gonna gross us out. This upsets him to no end.
I end up literally splitting the book with Bolted using a chain-axe, and we get in a mini boss fight with Oracle. Tick nearly TPK's us with Nurgles Rot, but James allows a do-over. Then he accidentally kills us a second time with the same strategy. Brilliant. So after a second do-over, we finally kill the Oracle and escape in a ship.
And then Tick stalls the game for 30 minutes. He wants to ask my Berserker a question but he's afraid ill kill him. Noone knows what his deal is but its such an important question he fears asking, that after nearly yelling at him over this and promising not to kill him at the end of half an hour. He finally asks...
" your [email protected]# the size of a chainsword?"
Desperate, I say "Probably enhanced like everything else" and try and move on, only to be hit with questions involving Space Marine anatomy and their history that clearly are meant out of character since he's not bothered roleplaying much as it is. He'd chewed up hours of game time just asking non-stop question, wondering how we would react to things then spending forever deciding what should be organic dialogue, and STILL HASN'T ROLLED ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF MOLESTING DISTANCE OF A CRIT SUCCESS.
Not only that, but on multiple occasions, he would "Pre-roll" initiative, accuracy, damage, and at least 1 extra crit die before encounters and come at us with the "uhm actually" tone of voice that I swear I thought had been a joke until he used it to describe how he already took out an enemy before any of us rolled initiative because he just assumed he would go first.
At this point, we threw up our collective hands and said he needed to go. We copied his character sheets and sent them to him on a different Amino, and we just up and kicked him from the group. It wasn't just Black Crusade. It was everything.
Part 3: Out of Character.
So as I've been saying, this behavior earned a lot of confrontation with many members of the group, especially James, Bolted, and I.
James was joining the Navy in a couple of weeks, and had become too busy to DM, and had long since run out of patience, so he was letting me and Bolted do the talking and game running. This delighted Tick to no end, and he openly stated that he'd just wait until James leaves, then come back so things aren't as tense between them.
He'd actually believed..."romantic" (not the word id use) tension was why things had gotten as off the rails as it had.
Not that he was an emotionally unstable, underaged, crossdressing kid that would always act like a brooding teenager getting a lecture and just say "uhuh. Mhmm. I know that. Uhuh. Ok. Mhmm. I know that." While surfing YouTube or google to tune us out, getting angry with us and accusing us of bullying, and actually responding to insults with self-depricating sexual jokes that would just make us want to scream at him that we didn't care what he wanted to- ugh i can't finish this thought. Disgust and anger mix like boiling bile as I recall it.
I'll give him credit that he never accused us of homophobia, but that's about all I can say about him.
He'd act out constantly to the point that Bolted, the calmest and oldest adult we had on hand, also ended up blowing up at him to a minor degree. And it never stuck. Eventually we just didn't want to be around him and his frankly toxic behavior that he defended by bringing up an abusive household or mental illness, which as someone that dealt with both, I hated having thrown in my face. And after he began to really crush on James with...implications, again, a good 5 year gap and he's a minor, we'd all collectively decided that it had been enough, and gave him the boot.
Tick found a different group on the other amino we all frequent, and has convinced them that we were all terrible awful no good very bad people, and that we'd beg to have him back. To this day, it hasn't happened. James is still in Bootcamp. Bolted got the cheerleader, and the group still mostly hasn't resumed dnd. I think we're all just taking a much needed break.
"But what of the narrator?" You ask. Well I'm currently hankering for another Dark Heresy game. I want to see someone's reaction to the burly, stone cold Kriegsman being barely 17 and already enlisted. Or Church finally finding the Guardsman that showed him his true faith.
How would I react to that?
I think I'd like that.
submitted by DamienHarkat to CritCrab [link] [comments]

2020.03.01 19:55 ScarjoISaTREE Follow up about That creep who wanted “revenge”

So that dude who rolled in here the other day acting like this subreddit is the sex work equivalent of wallmart’s customer service. he was all mad about losing $150 dollars to a trans escort, when she kicked him out because he showed up all high on adderal.
He posted to revengeadvice and excluded a few details. He was also describing how he has started harassing her (calling her phone over and over so she couldn’t get more customers until she turned it off) and how he tried snitching her out to the front desk at the hotel.
So I left a comment calling him out (as well as outing him for posting a nude to a crossdressing subreddit) I then suggested he do some sex work himself to earn the $150 back.
dude deleted his account.
In Hindsight I don’t feel great about outing him for the crossdressing post but considering what he was doing I don’t feel all that bad about it either.
I hope this means he’ll abandon his petty quest for vengeance, but I am a bit worried my tactless emasculation of this dude, has potentially made the situation worse for this woman.
submitted by ScarjoISaTREE to SexWorkers [link] [comments]

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